Strict Mothers Raise More Successful Daughters
Oof, really takes you back, doesn't it? When you're a teen, you roll your eyes and
let out a big sigh every time your parents nag you, but studies show you should be thanking
them!
You might find it hard to believe, but it seems that your parents' nagging is good for
you. At least that's what UK researchers from the University of Essex have found. Actually,
they say it's specifically girls whose moms were always on to them that are more likely
to succeed in life. It turns out that if you have a pushy mom, you have higher chances
of getting better grades and going to college. Of course, you know what that means: you're
less likely to end up unemployed or with a low-paid job. On top of that, there are lower
rates of teenage pregnancy among girls whose moms had a particular talent for nagging.
And that's a good thing because, believe it or not, obesity and chronic illnesses are
more common among people born to teen moms. Also, kids of very young mothers tend to do
more poorly in school. Wow, who knew all of that could be connected!
But let's look at it from a teen's perspective – that's only fair, right? Most teenagers
just wanna be independent and make their own decisions. So, obviously, when their parents
start barking orders at them or telling them what to do, it's not really the coolest
thing in the world, ya know? I mean, you're trying to become your own person and live
your own life, yet all that nagging makes you feel like a little kid. But however hard
you may try to go against your parents' "words of wisdom," they still influence your choices
whether you like it or not.
But let's take a look at how those researchers came to this conclusion in the first place.
In 2004, they started studying 15,500 schoolgirls aged 13 to 14. For the next 6 years, the scientists
observed the teenagers, while the girls' parents filled out questionnaires about their kids.
The first thing that came to light was that the parent who had way more nagging power
was usually the mom. Besides, moms were more likely to be strict with their daughters than
dads were. According to some of the women, they wanted to give their girls goals to achieve
and instill in them certain values, hence all the nagging. You can guess that these
girls didn't always like the way their moms kept on them, but they did respect their mothers'
opinion all the same. Some of them even told the researchers that the nagging helped them
stay focused.
But what do mothers themselves think of their nagginess? One mom explained that it was her
job to stay on her daughter. If she only reminded her daughter to do something just once, this
mom felt like her daughter wouldn't take it as seriously. That's why she has to be
strict and say the same thing over and over again so that her daughter will know that
she means business!
Well, if that's what moms like this woman are doing, then it's obviously working.
So, your mom's infamous "You'll thank me later!" might come true sooner than you
think!
But what about the specifics? For example, as a teen, I never understood why I have to
make my bed every morning when I'm just gonna mess it up that night! Well, even the
most mundane tasks your parents give you do set you up for success later on in life. For
example, it'll do you good if…
- Your parents made you do your chores. (Ah, classic parent stuff!) Some experts are sure
that kids with their own responsibilities grow up into more successful adults. More
specifically, they don't have problems working with others. I know, it sounds totally disconnected
at first. But the secret is that when you do your own laundry, take out the trash, or
do the dishes, you're helping your family. This attitude sticks with you throughout your
life. You realize that the work of the entire team depends on each member, so you're not
as likely to slack off. By the way, people who helped their parents in their childhood
are statistically better at working independently as well! Win-win!
- If your parents taught you math early on, don't worry, they weren't trying to bore
you to death. They just wanted you to grow up into a successful person! A 2007 study
involving over 35,000 preschoolers all over Canada, the US, and England proved that kids
who started to study math in their childhood had a huge advantage in the future. For example,
preschoolers who could already recognize numbers and count, as well as having some other basic
math concepts under their little belts, were also great at reading!
- Your parents taught you "grit." Groundbreaking research on this personality trait brought
psychologist Dr. Angela Duckworth a really prestigious MacArthur Genius Fellowship in
2013, so this thing must be pretty significant, right? In fact, this success-driving and powerful
trait helps support people's interest in a long-term goal. It means that parents who
teach "grit" to their kids show them how to imagine the future they'd like to create
and how to keep doing everything so that this dream comes true. So, if you believed that
"grit" wasn't that important when you were growing up, think again!
- If your mom had a job when you were growing up, chances are that this seemingly unimportant
and totally typical thing actually helped shape you for the better. A Harvard Business
School study showed that daughters whose moms worked outside the home got both higher salaries
and positions more often than those of stay-at-home-moms. As for men raised by working moms, they spent
25 more minutes a week taking care of the kids and 7½ more hours doing household chores!
- Your parents had high expectations of you. Well, admittedly, you probably saw it as them
putting too much pressure on you back then. But you know what? Parents' high expectations
for their kids seem to equal more success later on in life. And, yes, there's science
to back it up. When researchers from the University of California tested 6,600 teens, only 57%
of those with the lowest test scores had parents who wanted them to go to college. As for the
top scorers, a whopping 97% of them had parents who were adamant about them getting a college
degree. It all has to do with the fact that parents
who want their kids to get a higher education either directly or indirectly steer them toward
this goal. And income doesn't play a role here, so it's not just the rich kids or
anything. What's more, some of those young people managed to reach impressive success
in life to live up to their parents' expectations. I just can't help but wonder if it's made
them happy. What do you think? Let me know down in the comments!
- Your parents were strict. What I mean is, when you were a kid, did you ever feel really
jealous of that one friend whose parents let them do whatever they want? Yet all your mom
and dad ever did was set a bunch of rules for you and not let you do anything because
it was "bad" for you. Well, maybe this will make you feel better….
There are basically 3 kinds of parenting styles: permissive, authoritarian, and authoritative.
Permissive moms and dads let their kids do anything they want and don't punish them whatsoever.
(That's your friend's folks.) Authoritarian parents are the opposite: they try to control
their kids and shape them based on their own specific standards. And finally, authoritative
parents try to give their kids direction in life by making them think rationally.
So, guess which style experts consider ideal? Nope, it's not the permissive one, however
cool it may sound. The most effective way to bring up a child is by using the authoritative
style. It teaches kids to respect authority, but it doesn't make them feel strangled
by super intense parental control. Hmm, makes sense!
But what about you, what things did your parents nag you about most of all? Let everybody know
down in the comments! And remember to give this video a "like," share it with your
friends, and click "subscribe" to stay on the Bright Side of life!
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