HOW TO LET GO OF RESENTMENT AND FORGIVE | 6 STEPS

Do you find difficult to forgive people that did something bad to you in the past? Memories of when a boyfriend cheated on you, or your best friend lied to you come to your mind often? So this video is for you. Right after the intro. Hello friend, welcome back to our channel. My name is Ty Silver. I post weekly videos with ideas, strategies and techniques on how we can improve ourselves, have a better life and be happier! If this is your first time here, and like me, you like to learn about self-improvement, self-help, how to be happier, more productive and other related stuff, start now by subscribing and clicking the bell so you don't miss anything. Today's video is about resentments, grudges that we hold, feelings that we can't let go. I'm going to tell you today, what it is, why it should have no place in your life, and most important, how to do that. How to let it go. I'm gonna give you today six steps on how to let go of resentments that are stopping you from being happy? But first, let's start with a question that I want you to answer. What happened in your life that you can't seem to let it go? Answer me below at the comment section. Full disclosure, this was not an easy research for me. I have a huge tendency of holding grudges. I remember things that people did to me from many years ago. And sometimes when I think about them, I know they are very silly and the person didn't have bad intentions, didn't mean to hurt me, but I still have problems letting it go. What is resentment? What is to resent someone? Resentments are negative feelings that a person has toward other person, or something, that happened in the past. It is the reviving of past injustices. When you resent someone, you believe that that person did something bad to you, was unfair with you, and you didn't deserve that. You have been holding grudges for so long that you got used to living with them. They affect your life in ways that you don't even realize. And they might even been causing damage to your ability to interact with the world around you, and you don't see that. When you resent someone for something that they did to you, you are giving power to that person to control your emotions. The person probably doesn't even remember anymore, or never even noticed that he or she did something bad to you, but you get mad, angry, every time you think about what happened. Some people hold resentments for several years, refusing to let go of them. Some other die without learning how to let go. What do you want to do? Here are some reasons why you should try to let go. First because it's better for your physical health. Every time you get upset, or feel any kind of stress, your heart get faster and this can damage the muscles of your heart faster that it should. Our heart is not structured to take all the stress that we give to it. Second because since we agreed that resentment is a form of stress, we know it can cause mental health problems like depression and/or anxiety, depending on how you feel about the situation. Another reason is that resentments make our immune system weaker which leaves us more vulnerable to be sick. Letting go also improves your relationships. Let's use an example, you have a resentment of an ex boyfriend that cheated on you, and because of that you just can't trust any man anymore. So you are always fighting with your boyfriend because you think that he's always lying to you. Is he really? Or you feel like that because the jerk in the past lied to you and you still didn't let that feeling go? You see? It's time to learn how to forgive. And I'm not saying to forgive the people that hurt you to make their lives better. I'm saying that you need to forgive to make your life better. It's for you, not for them! Now I'm using the word forgiveness. Before, I was just saying to let go but now I want you to forgive? Easier said than done, right? I know! But we can't talk about getting rid of resentments without talking about forgiveness because to be able to let go we need to forgive. And remember, again! It's not for them! It's for you! So let's start with the six steps of how to let go of resentments and and be able to forgive. Step number one, recognize the importance and the advantages of letting go. We just talked about all the damage that not being able to let go can bring to your life. So now it's up to you to decide if you want to keep suffering with resentments or if you want to go to step number two and work on getting rid of all these negative feelings. I really hope you are open to try. Step number two, identify all resentments that you have. Schedule on your calendar a time for you to sit down and write every single resentment that you have. You can do that on a paper, computer or phone, doesn't mater, but it's important that you make a list of everything that you can remember that you are holding a grudge from your past. People, places, things, situations etc.. When you finish you will see how much bitterness you've been keeping inside you. And If you are being honest, you will probably have a long list of resentments. Keep this list for step number three. Step number three, identify how your emotions about the harm done to you affect your life today. A good example here is what I said about the ex boyfriend earlier. Your ex cheated on you, so now you are always thinking that your boyfriend is lying to you, and because of that you are always fighting. Step number four, stop playing the victim and remove the control the other person has over your feelings. Remember what I said before. If you are suffering because of what someone did to you, it means that that person is in control of what you feel. You are not a victim. You choose what role you want to play. You are responsible for what you feel. Step number five, practice empathy. Oh I love this one, and trust me, that's not easy for me at all. It's very hard for me to practice empathy. And I'm talking about real empathy. Not like when you think: "If I were in that person's place, what would I do?". I want you to think: "If I were that person, If I were raised that way, in that environment, with those people around me, what would I do?". That's real empathy. You can't take yourself and put in that person's place. You need to try to be that person. Do you see the difference? It's not easy, but it's a very interesting exercise. Step number six, choose to forgive that person. Considering all that we talked until now. After understanding what is to be that person, not to be in that person's place but to be that person. You choose to forgive. I'm not saying to feel bad for that person. To forgive doesn't mean to say that it's ok what that person did. To forgive only means to cease to feel resentment against that person. It's a choice that you make. Those were the six steps to let go of resentment and learn how to forgive. You are now probably thinking that this is something impossible to be done, and I know, and agree with you that's not easy. Remember that I said at the beginning that I tend to have grudges? So I'm not saying it's easy. To learn to forgive is a hard process that requires willingness and patience. It's often a long and painful journey that has a wonderful and totally worthy destination. There are levels of resentments. Not all situations are the same and can be treated equal. So if you think you can start the work to be a better and happier version of yourself, start now with the six steps that I gave you today. Remember to subscribe and activate the bell if this was your first time here and give me thumbs up if you enjoyed the video until now, which you probably did because you are still there watching. Don't let resentments turn you into a bitter person. You are such a wonderful person, with so much potential and so much to accomplish. Having grudges in your life will only block you or slow you down on your journey. I really hope you enjoy today's video and are willing to try the six steps I gave you. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below. Thank you so much for watching, have a great week, and see you next video.

Abraham Hicks: How can I release blame and resentment? How To Let Go Of Resentment SMILING MAKES YOU HAPPY How To Forgive Yourself For Hurting Someone You Love Forgiveness in the Age of Rage Alan Watts - Escape Societies Brainwashing Now Let Go of Criticism, Resentment, FEAR and Guilt - Louise Hay Billy Graham - Forgiveness HOW TO OVERCOME FEAR OF FAILURE | TECHNIQUE "Recovery and Forgiveness" by Father Martin.