The Duel - SNL
MR. EBERLE. CHOOSE YOUR WEAPONS.
>> OH, KIND SIRS. MY AFFECTIONS ARE NOT WORTH THIS
QUARREL. WHATEVER INJURY YOU ANY MIGHT
INCUR CANNOT COMPETE WITH THE WOUND YOU INFLICT UPON MY HEART.
>> LISTEN TO HER GENTLEMAN. NO WOMAN IS WORTH LOSING LIFE
AND LIMB OVER. >> THIS MAN HAS LAID CLAIM TO
WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE. AND I WILL HAVE SATISFACTION.
>> I WILL NOT REST UNTIL HIS BLOOD IS SPILLED UPON THIS VERY
CROWN. >> I CANNOT BEAR TO SEE EITHER
OF YOU SUFFER EVEN THE SLIGHTEST OF WOUNDS.
>> THEN I SUGGEST YOU LOOK AWAY. >> DO AS HE SAYS, MY LADY.
>> YOU AGREED UPON THE TERMS. TEN PACES AND THEN TURN AND
FIRE. MR. ABBETON.
>> READY. >> MR. EBERLE.
>> BAM! >> OH, ARE YOU OKAY?
>> OH, MY GOD, SORRY. >> I THINK HE GOT A LITTLE BIT
SHOT. >> THE ONLY PAIN I FEEL IS
SEEING THE TWO MEN I ADORE AT ODDS.
>> WELL, YOU'RE DEFINITELY BLEEDING.
>> IT'S NOTHING COMPARED TO THEIR SUFFERING.
>> GENTLEMEN, I THINK WE SHOULD GO OVER THE RULES BEGIN.
>> YES. BECAUSE HE WENT EARLY, RIGHT?
>> YES. SO, JUST TO BE CLEAR, YOU WILL
WALK TEN PACES AND THEN TURN AND SHOOT.
UNDERSTOOD? >> AND WHAT DO I DO?
>> WELL, THE SAME THING. >> AS BEFORE?
OKAY. BANG!
>> 'TIS BUT A PIN PRICK. THE ONLY PAIN IS LOVING A WOMAN
THAT ANOTHER MAN LOVES. >> I'M SORRY, MY LADY.
I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS GAME. >> DO NOT GIVE ME A SECOND
THOUGHT. I BESEECH YOU, SIR.
THINK ONLY OF YOURSELF. >> OKAY, PERHAPS WE SHOULD
ABANDON THE GUNS AND TAKE OFF OUR CLOTHES AND FIGHT.
>> OUR CLOTHES. WHY ARE YOU INVOLVED?
>> WELL, I'M MAD TOO. THIS IS TAKING UP MY WHOLE DAMN
DAY. >> LET'S TRY ONE MORE TIME.
>> I'M JUST GOING TO MOVE YOU HERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.
>> SO, THAT WAY I CAN SEE. >> GENTLEMEN, I'M GOING TO WALK
YOU THROUGH THIS. DO EXACTLY AS I SAY.
TAKE ONE STEP -- >> ONE STEP?
I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO TAKE TEN.
>> ARE WE AT TEN ALREADY? BANG.
>> NO, I HAVEN'T GOTTEN TO GO BANG ONCE!
BANG. >> CURRENTLY THERE ARE TWO
BULLETS AND THEY ARE BOUNCING AROUND THE COURTYARD.
I'M SURE I CAN JUST PEEK OUT TO SEE WHAT'S HANNING.
HAPPENING. >> OH, MY LORD.
I HATE THIS DAY. >> THE TWO OF YOU SHOULD BE
ASHAMED! HAND ME THAT PISTOL.
>> DO BE CAREFUL. >> WHAT?
OH! >> OH, MY GOD.
GIVE THAT BACK. >> WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
>> I'M SORRY, I WAS TRYING SOMETHING.
>> THIS ENDS NOW! >> MY LADY, YOUR LEGS!
>> MR. EBERLE. MR. ABBETON.
I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY AND I WILL BE HEARD!
YOU HAVE SUFFERED ENOUGH. >> SHE'S RIGHT.
DO YOU FORGIVE ME? >> I DO.
>> NOW GIVE ME THOSE WEAPONS AND LET THE HEALING BEGIN.
>> OH! >> YEP, THAT'S A HAIR TRIGGER
RIGHT THERE.
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