Test Prep - SNL
AS YOU KNOW YOUR S.A.T.2s ARE THIS WEEKEND AND LET'S REVIEW.
WHO CAN TELL ME WHAT THE METAPHOR IS IN FRANZ KAFKA'S
"METAMORPHOSIS"? ANYONE?
NOBODY? HOW ABOUT YOU,
MISS CLARK. >> I GUESS IT'S LIKE ONE DAY YOU
WAKE UP, AND EVERYTHING'S DIFFERENT.
YOU'RE NOT A KID ANYMORE. NO MORE PLAYING WITH DOLLS.
NOW IT'S DRINKING WITH BEER. PLUS SOMEONE WROTE SLUT ON YOUR
LOCKER WHEN YOU HAVEN'T EVEN KISSED A BOY, AND YOU JUST WANT
TO GO BACK TO HOW THINGS WERE, BUT THINGS DIDN'T CHANGE, YOU
DID. >> OKAY, PRETTY CLOSE, BUT THE
ANSWER WAS C, COCKROACH. A QUICK REMINDER THE S.A.T. 2s
ARE MULTIPLE CHOICE AND WHAT YOU JUST SAID WILL NOT FIT ON A
SCANTRON. >> THANKS.
I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. I SHOULD BECOME A WRITER.
>> NOT WHAT I SAID, BUT OKAY. MOVING ON, WHO WANTS TO TELL ME
WHAT THE LION SYMBOLIZES IN "JULIUS CAESAR"?
>> MR. RAMANO? >> ALL RIGHT.
I'LL PLAY YOUR LITTLE GAME. SO YOU'RE A GUY, RIGHT, AND YOU
AND YOUR MY FRIENDS, YOU'RE LIKE BROTHERS.
YOU DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER. BREAK INTO HOUSEBOATS, DRINK AND
FIGHT, CUSS IN MY TRUCK. AND ONE DAY THEY STAB YOU IN THE
BACK. SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL DROP OUT,
FORGET ABOUT COLLEGE. YOU'RE GOING TO TOILET SCHOOL.
>> TOILET SCHOOL LIKE TO BECOME A PLUMBER/.
>> OKAY, FINE, I DIDN'T READ IT. >> WELL, WHY NOT?
>> BECAUSE I CAN'T READ! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR? I CAN SEE THE LITTLE SQUIGGLES,
BUT I CAN'T MAKE THEM MAKE SOUND!
>> HEY, THAT'S CALLED DYSLEXIC. I COULD TEACH YOU.
>> I DON'T NEED YOUR CHARITY. >> HEY, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.
REMEMBER THE NIGHT BY THE FOOTBALL HOUSE WHEN YOU SHOWED
ME WHAT STARS WERE? >> OF COURSE I DO.
THAT'S THE NIGHT I MESSED AROUND WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND.
>> THAT'S RIGHT. MY MOM.
>> OKAY. THERE'S A LOT GOING ON IN THIS
CLASS, BUT I'M A SUB. SO I'M JUST GONNA KICK THIS CAN
DOWN THE ROAD. OKAY, HOW ABOUT WE GO OVER SOME
NICE, COLD MATH. THERE'S NOTHING EMOTIONAL THERE.
BRETT, WHAT'S THE FORMULA FOR A PARABOLA?
>> ALL RIGHT, PARABOLA. SO YOU START OFF, AND EVERYTHING
IS ALL UP, UP AND AWAY. YOU'RE ON TOP OF THE WORLD.
NUMBER ONE IN THE FOOTBALL TEAM! MAJOR LEAGUES, BABY!
NO BACKUP PLAN. AND THEN YOU START FALLING,
BANG! HARD!
AND YOU END UP IN -- YOU END UP IN A PLACE THAT LOOKS A HELL OF
A LOT LIKE WHERE YOU STARTED. >> NONE OF THAT WAS MATH, AND I
THINK YOU KNOW THAT. >> HEY, MRS. H, I FINISHED MY
PRACTICE TEST. CAN I GO?
>> ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO DO A BIG EMOTIONAL SPEECH FOR
US? >> NO, I'M GOOD.
BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE GOOD. BECAUSE MY OLD MAN USED TO BEAT
MY ASS. YES, SIR!
NO, SIR! >> OKAY ENOUGH.
YOU KIDS THINK YOU HAVE PROBLEMS, I'M NOT EVEN A REAL
TEACHER! I JUST FILL IN WHEN OTHER
TEACHERS HAVE BABIES OR HANGOVERS.
IT'S LIKE I DON'T EXIST. AND I CONVINCED MY HUSBAND TO
OPEN UP OUR MARRIAGE, AND NOW HE'S CLEANING UP, AND I CAN'T
GIVE IT AWAY! >> WOW, I GUESS I LEARNED A LOT
TODAY. BUT THE THING I LEARNED THE MOST
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