Steve Martin Has an Idea for a Roger Stone Joke for SNL

-Welcome to the show.
And thank you so much for being here.
-I love -- First of all, it was such a surprise
that I'm on the show,
and how you kept it from me, I will never know.
But I was back there, I heard my name, I went, "Wow!"
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-We like to keep it off the cuff here.
And this is your first time on the show.
-Yes, actually, and not only is it my first time on the show,
this will be the first time I've ever seen the show.
-Wow. Wow. This is -- -So, yeah.
No, I've seen the show many, many times.
In fact, the excitement of tonight
is only comparable, to me, to the birth of my child.
-Wow. -Yeah.
And the only difference is I showed up for this.
[ Laughter ]
-Thank you so much. -Yeah.
And I have to compliment you on --
I watch "Documentary Now!" -Oh, thank you so much.
-And I watched one with Cate Blanchett, which was so good.
Then I saw that you wrote it. -I did, yeah.
-How do you find time?
You know -- It was so good. -Thank you.
-I'm not -- I'm not really here to compliment you.
-No, no.
I'll shift the focus right back to you as quickly as I can.
We had a lovely night, my wife and I --
You invited us to dinner at your home with some lovely people.
-Yes, some lovely comedians.
It's fun to get together with --
-Yes.
-Your -- Not my peers, 'cause -- But your peers.
John Mulaney was there. -Yep. Uh-huh.
-Paul Shaffer was there. -Paul Shaffer there.
-Marty Short. -Marty Short was there.
-And you were a great, great guest.
Was that the first time you'd come over?
-Yeah. That was the first time.
-And Alexi was a lot of fun. She was tremendous.
And I loved -- I so respected the way --
You exercised your interest in conservation
by saving water by not flushing.
-Oh, thank you. -I thought that was --
-Yeah.
-And your -- I recognize something about you.
You're kind of a master, because you are absolutely right --
The fifth time you told that story was the best.
-Oh, good. [ Laughs ]
-Man, it was -- it was a memorable night.
-Yeah.
-Anytime you run out of booze by 8:00, that's a memorable night.
-Yes. -Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
-I was -- one of the things that made me very happy that night
is you talked about hosting "SNL" in 2006.
-Right. -There are still "SNL" sketches
that I remember and things I wished had gone differently.
And it made me very happy that you had that experience as well.
-With the same sketch. -Yeah.
We were in a sketch called "Surf Club" in 2006.
Here's a photo of "Surf Club." -Yeah.
-And it was basically -- the joke was that
you were getting kicked out of the surf club.
-Well, first of all, who's going to believe me as a surfer?
-Right. -I mean --
But there was an alternate sketch --
-Yeah.
-It was with -- I did with Amy Poehler.
-Yep, there you go. You and Amy. There you go.
-And the premise was so funny.
We were two drunks going in to get a bank loan.
And so...
[Slurring] We're kind of like this.
[Normal voice ] And Amy was so brilliant.
Then, finally, we get rejected.
It was Chris Parnell. -Yeah.
-Yeah. He was the bank manager.
And, finally, she says -- We get rejected.
And she says, "Okay, buddy. You're not going to get this.
You're not going to get this. You're not going to get these."
And...
[ Laughter ]
And I...
And I thought it was so funny, mainly because she was so funny.
And then you find out, "No, we're going to do
the surf sketch instead, with five guys."
And there were so many lines. Do you remember this?
That all you could do was stand there and read the cue cards.
And just go -- It's lengthy.
-Basically, the entire premise of the sketch
was you'd been kicked out of the club,
and you just went around time and time again
and said everybody's name in the surf club
and asking if they agreed with the decision.
And Lorne -- I was there between dress and air,
and you said, "I really think we should do the Amy sketch."
And Lorne said, "I really think Surf Club is going to work."
And it played to dead silence.
-It played -- But, you know, Lorne is usually right.
-Lorne is usually right. -He really is always right.
And, you know, maybe the drunk thing
would have played to silence, though I don't think so.
[ Laughter ]
-You went back this year. You got to play Roger Stone.
Did you enjoy getting to do that?
-I did. Yes.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I'll tell you.
It was the Friday night before the Saturday.
And I was going to have dinner with Lorne.
And, so, I'm at the restaurant early, as I usually am.
And then Lorne comes around the corner of the restaurant
with his phone, looks at me,
and says, "What about Steve Martin?"
[ Laughter ]
And so he committed me before I even really knew what it was.
And I don't do impressions,
you know, 'cause I don't need to.
But I...
[ Cheers and applause ]
But I thought -- No. No.
I am not a good impersonator.
But I thought, "Well, Roger Stone I could maybe do."
'Cause we have this kind of similarity in our hearts.
-And it must have been fun to be back.
In your hearts. Yeah, yeah. Yes, you're very similar.
And then, of course, you're on --
you're touring now with the show with Marty Short --
-And, by the way, I have an idea if they ever ask.
I'm waiting for Roger stone to do something again,
newsworthy, so I can get back on, 'cause I have an idea.
You know how Roger Stone
is always doing this kind of Richard Nixon thing?
-Yes. -Always doing that.
So the idea would be -- They'd come up.
"Here's Roger Stone." I'd be like this.
And I'd say a couple of jokes.
And then I'd say, "Can I get a glass of water?"
And then my hands would stay there.
And my hand would come out like this, drink.
[ Laughter ]
-Welcome to the show.
And thank you so much for being here.
-I love -- First of all, it was such a surprise
that I'm on the show,
and how you kept it from me, I will never know.
But I was back there, I heard my name, I went, "Wow!"
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-We like to keep it off the cuff here.
And this is your first time on the show.
-Yes, actually, and not only is it my first time on the show,
this will be the first time I've ever seen the show.
-Wow. Wow. This is -- -So, yeah.
No, I've seen the show many, many times.
In fact, the excitement of tonight
is only comparable, to me, to the birth of my child.
-Wow. -Yeah.
And the only difference is I showed up for this.
[ Laughter ]
-Thank you so much. -Yeah.
And I have to compliment you on --
I watch "Documentary Now!" -Oh, thank you so much.
-And I watched one with Cate Blanchett, which was so good.
Then I saw that you wrote it. -I did, yeah.
-How do you find time?
You know -- It was so good. -Thank you.
-I'm not -- I'm not really here to compliment you.
-No, no.
I'll shift the focus right back to you as quickly as I can.
We had a lovely night, my wife and I --
You invited us to dinner at your home with some lovely people.
-Yes, some lovely comedians.
It's fun to get together with --
-Yes.
-Your -- Not my peers, 'cause -- But your peers.
John Mulaney was there. -Yep. Uh-huh.
-Paul Shaffer was there. -Paul Shaffer there.
-Marty Short. -Marty Short was there.
-And you were a great, great guest.
Was that the first time you'd come over?
-Yeah. That was the first time.
-And Alexi was a lot of fun. She was tremendous.
And I loved -- I so respected the way --
You exercised your interest in conservation
by saving water by not flushing.
-Oh, thank you. -I thought that was --
-Yeah.
-And your -- I recognize something about you.
You're kind of a master, because you are absolutely right --
The fifth time you told that story was the best.
-Oh, good. [ Laughs ]
-Man, it was -- it was a memorable night.
-Yeah.
-Anytime you run out of booze by 8:00, that's a memorable night.
-Yes. -Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
-I was -- one of the things that made me very happy that night
is you talked about hosting "SNL" in 2006.
-Right. -There are still "SNL" sketches
that I remember and things I wished had gone differently.
And it made me very happy that you had that experience as well.
-With the same sketch. -Yeah.
We were in a sketch called "Surf Club" in 2006.
Here's a photo of "Surf Club." -Yeah.
-And it was basically -- the joke was that
you were getting kicked out of the surf club.
-Well, first of all, who's going to believe me as a surfer?
-Right. -I mean --
But there was an alternate sketch --
-Yeah.
-It was with -- I did with Amy Poehler.
-Yep, there you go. You and Amy. There you go.
-And the premise was so funny.
We were two drunks going in to get a bank loan.
And so...
[Slurring] We're kind of like this.
[Normal voice ] And Amy was so brilliant.
Then, finally, we get rejected.
It was Chris Parnell. -Yeah.
-Yeah. He was the bank manager.
And, finally, she says -- We get rejected.
And she says, "Okay, buddy. You're not going to get this.
You're not going to get this. You're not going to get these."
And...
[ Laughter ]
And I...
And I thought it was so funny, mainly because she was so funny.
And then you find out, "No, we're going to do
the surf sketch instead, with five guys."
And there were so many lines. Do you remember this?
That all you could do was stand there and read the cue cards.
And just go -- It's lengthy.
-Basically, the entire premise of the sketch
was you'd been kicked out of the club,
and you just went around time and time again
and said everybody's name in the surf club
and asking if they agreed with the decision.
And Lorne -- I was there between dress and air,
and you said, "I really think we should do the Amy sketch."
And Lorne said, "I really think Surf Club is going to work."
And it played to dead silence.
-It played -- But, you know, Lorne is usually right.
-Lorne is usually right. -He really is always right.
And, you know, maybe the drunk thing
would have played to silence, though I don't think so.
[ Laughter ]
-You went back this year. You got to play Roger Stone.
Did you enjoy getting to do that?
-I did. Yes.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I'll tell you.
It was the Friday night before the Saturday.
And I was going to have dinner with Lorne.
And, so, I'm at the restaurant early, as I usually am.
And then Lorne comes around the corner of the restaurant
with his phone, looks at me,
and says, "What about Steve Martin?"
[ Laughter ]
And so he committed me before I even really knew what it was.
And I don't do impressions,
you know, 'cause I don't need to.
But I...
[ Cheers and applause ]
But I thought -- No. No.
I am not a good impersonator.
But I thought, "Well, Roger Stone I could maybe do."
'Cause we have this kind of similarity in our hearts.
-And it must have been fun to be back.
In your hearts. Yeah, yeah. Yes, you're very similar.
And then, of course, you're on --
you're touring now with the show with Marty Short --
-And, by the way, I have an idea if they ever ask.
I'm waiting for Roger stone to do something again,
newsworthy, so I can get back on, 'cause I have an idea.
You know how Roger Stone
is always doing this kind of Richard Nixon thing?
-Yes. -Always doing that.
So the idea would be -- They'd come up.
"Here's Roger Stone." I'd be like this.
And I'd say a couple of jokes.
And then I'd say, "Can I get a glass of water?"
And then my hands would stay there.
And my hand would come out like this, drink.
[ Laughter ]

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