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Steps For Jodie - Episode 6 - Bistro Eighty-Six

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just seems like so much effort. Nooo! that's the nice thing about it. I just try to eat clean. Between that and dance class I just try and kinda stay fit. it's not that hard I can give you some vegan recipes if you like. I just love meat and I really hate exercising. I guess I could try it for a day. No you have to do it longer than a day. It's more of a lifestyle change yeah there is absolutely no way I last week a week doing what? Oh Paula's trying to lose weight for a wedding she's really eager. Oh, when's the wedding? It's not for a week so I've got lots of time. well my stupid sorry parasitic sacks of entrails... revenge is mine!! Angie? She does it all the time. It's her thing. Anytime she can quote a movie she will. Everyone here has a thing. Looks like meats back on the menu boys [snarl sound] I could lose a couple pounds myself. The other day Joseph told me I looked like cushions that you tie to patio furniture. That's not very nice. he meant it as a compliment. He said he wanted to lie on me and poke around my creases. Oh my gosh I think I'm his first girlfriend anyways I do know that I have some baby fat still. My mom says I should grow out of it. Moms know best. Is your mother seriously...is she delusional? I mean how old does she think you are? Unless you make a serious change... like today... you will not be able to lift your arms. I give it like two or three years like max. if you want some vegan recipes Trish I have some. I'm also doing a cleanse. Why? you don't need to lose any weight. oh... oh no it's not for that. nah wasn't awkward at all. I asked her on a date and she said no I mean I know she's really busy. It's so awkward I mean I just wanted... I would have said yes. I wanted to say yes. Ahh Morgana Could you please start table 12 they're looking over here. I'll do it they're in my section. What the hell? What's wrong with her? She never wants to take tables. [server bingo] Paula's thing... "server competitions". They are the worst but we have to participate because it's Paula. we actually just ran out of the BLT but we do have that. I would recommend it with this soup. Yeah? yes perfect thank you so much. Honestly she's gonna stop with all these server competitions okay the back is demanding answers and all of her staff meals are eating us out of house and hoooommmee.... What was that? [Singing] To the place I belong. West Virginia... Mountain momma take home country roads. Great server competition idea Paula Thank you. I am killing it. Another point for me. Do you have a pen? no yes excellent job. Ah quick question. yes would you mind maybe making this like the last... or maybe even like the second to last server competition? It's just that we have to cut food costs down. If you wouldn't mind just oh okay how about we make the prize a glass of wine instead of a meal? cool. I'm down with that. yes exactly. Good compromising. Good job. That's exactly, that's exactly what I wanted. Thank you. That worked out nicely. Yes. I guess I will write one full box of wine on the waste sheet again. um could we all please just gather for one second? Ben stop touching yourself over there. Kidding. You guys want some of this licorice? SHHHH SHHHH SHHHHH I have an idea. I have an idea. That I think will satisfy every single one of your desires. a step competition. No sorry gonna have to pass Come on guys! Ben you can get those nice defined calves that I've been wanting you to get... for Morgan. You know wink wink. Paula you can get all sexed up for that wedding and Trish... we can try and make you look somewhat presentable. Get those creases ready for penetration yeah what do we all think? If we do this? Emphasis on "IF" what does the winner get? I am so glad you asked me that Paula. The winner of this step competition gets to meet my personal friend and confidant Jodie foster! Nooo!! I love Jodie Foster. The dangerous lives of altar boys. I had my first lady boner to that movie but I can't do this competition. I can't go back I once upon a moon was addicted to counting steps and I mean addicted. The kind of addiction where you pace your living room until 4:00 in the morning just to get the steps in. They used to call me "the pacist". My boyfriend at the time actually broke up with me. He thought I was cheating on him because I wouldn't let him use my phone. My precious step counting phone. Who's Jody Foster? Panic room, little man Tate. I got my first erection while watching Freaky Friday the original. Been a Jodie Foster fan ever since. I'm not into this you didn't let me finish though. The winner also gets a box of wine. Fine There's the attitude... Home brew. It's disgusting. what do you want me to do with all these candies? What? These weird little licorice things that taste like semen. Problem solved. Trish's thing... bringing in treats for everyone so she doesn't feel so bad about eating them. I've got a nice surprise for you actually had to eat six boxes of bran cereal to get them. So if you see me run out of the room you know why. Everybody reach into the bag and grab your very own step counter. Why didn't you just dig the toys out and eat cereal later? this is not a toy Ben. This is exercising tool. okay? Oh I remember these from when I was a kid. retro step counters. umm Angie you know you can get an app on your phone that counts your steps right? I did not know that... but these are way more fun so everybody let's put them on your shoes and then let's get this step competition started. Most steps by the end of the day wins. Okay? fYI we are gonna go on a little outing on the break so get excited okay? oh and I've got extra runners in my car if you need. If you don't have laces on your shoes. What size are you? 10 half a size smaller than me. Perfect okay. I can't believe Angie's feet are that size. these only go to 100 and then you have to reset them. Are you serious? yeah I've done like a thousand steps already me too hey these stupid things only go to a hundred and then you have to reset them. I know. That's why you write the point on the thingy every 100 steps. AHHHHHH were you planning on telling us? We have zero points and you have seven. Yeah you should have to start at zero. No effing way. You can have 4 points if you want but that's it. That's all I'm givin ya. Well if that's the way you're gonna play it. Be prepared to lose. it's so on it's on... it's so on She's killing it. How? I don't know I overheard my dad tell my mom when I was little that cheating was no big deal. she's not even sweating who's winning? well you are but Trish's is in close second. She's only 130 steps behind you and you had that huge head start remember. This is impossible. Like father like daughter. don't want to risk it. Trish come here. show me your counter. Show it to me. I wanna know you're not cheating. Oh I would never lie. Show me your counter Trish. Show it to me. Show me your counter Trish. Show it to me. Ok fine. Fine! Here it is. put it on your shoe I don't want to. put it on your shoe or no Jodie Foster and no getting your jollies off put it on your shoe. Fine It's just one day... what is happening I think I crushed my funnel. okie-dokie troops. For the next hour before dinner service we are going to test our Stamina and stregth like never before in a trailblaze yeah! sounds taxing. you! I'm coming for you princess. yeah you! Are you scared? Are you scared? Yeah you better be. so you got any plans for Valentine's Day? Yeah I got something in the works I could beat you in my sleep. GOODDD. Did you by any chance fricken research some Bible quotes and eat a tub of protein powder before we came here? because you're way too jacked. You're too jacked up. I am jacked up and you know what? you know what? I dare you to throw out my semen candies without asking me. They were disgusting. I cannot wait to win this prize so I can tell Ms. Foster what a loser of a friend you are. That's enough. That's enough. This is supposed to be a fun step competition and you're ruining it okay and you know what... "I know, I know you can fight but it's on wits that make us men". Braveheart Oh. She told you did she? yes I like to quote movies. Did she tell you what her thing was? I have wits and then you know what else I have Tits! That's enough. That's enough. You have neither. what are you looking at? Nothing she always stares at your chest when she's talking. Customers complain about all the time. I kinda like it. You know what? You gotta calm down. You gotta calm down. This is a steep hill. yeah it's too much Trish. It is too much. Thank you Paula. You hear that. It's even too much for her. That's saying something. God you like a freaking penguin on steroids. Oh a penguin... I don't care and FYI I just beat your pace. Ha! I don't care. Don't look at her. [screams] Trish!!!! [Screaming] Are you ok? Apparently someone's all talk. She's fine she's just complaining That desn't look good at all oh wow you need to call somebody Thank God this is not on work property or during work hours. Let's just... I'm gonna cover this here. There we go. We don't want to look at it. why don't you just go call an ambulance and maybe take ol' "pukey" with you over there. Okay you take off the shoe. I'm just gonna like... Don't you dare touch my step counter I will kill you!!! I will kill you!!!! okay So Trish is recovering nicely at Fort Langley Memorial Hospital here. Turns out she has a fibula fracture also undergoing anger management alongside addiction treatment. So I'm glad that I could actually help her on her journey she's really taking steps to be ... actually no can't say that. Doctor said I couldn't say that. Wakey wakey Trish. Look who I brought to see you. I told you I didn't want to do the lesbian test again. oh my god you poor thing you're so drugged up you don't even recognize your first crush. Jodie foster's here to sign your cast that's not Jodie Foster Shh it is. It is Jodie Foster and actually look what she gave me for you... a signed piece of paper. For you kiddo. This is this is a receipt for Vaseline and an inflatable Kim Kardashian butt That's not the thing. That's wrong. Jesus has some specific tastes...we are working on it. Trish how are you? Not bad. Definitely gonna need a couple of weeks off though. That's not gonna happen oh my god Angie. You look good Trish... really slim. no no we talked about this she doesn't wanna do the lesbian test right now Paula. What is wrong with you? Hey Jodie Hello Shit man! Still no control! reservation hmmm that was good
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